Why is this happening?

After all these years of being ok, it's going to come back now? When I am down and alone, it is rearing its ugly head again, and I am having trouble fighting it. It has been over 4 years since it has been a problem. Of course there have been single occurances here and there where it just happens. But this is going on day three now, and that is just not normal. Yesterday I actually added up my food intake and it came to 800 calories. That was coffee with creamer in the am, a salad with tons of veggies, and an orange. Can you believe that equals 800 calories? Craziness, absolute craziness. So then I tried to go to sleep and started getting really bad reflux so I ate a slice of frozen pizza. And I hated myself for it. That probably doubled my calorie intake for the day, and ruined everything, but I don't even know why I am doing this again to start with. I am not a teenager anymore, I am a woman, with control over my life. Or maybe I don't feel in control of my life, and that is why this is happening again?
Tornado warnings and watches are out again. I hate the weather here, I really do. Just one more thing I hate about Alabama. Will I ever get out of here? The sad answer is probably not if I stay with Bradley. He loves this state so much because he knows NOTHING else. He has no idea what is out there in the world and has no desire of leaving this God forsaken state of hell.
Blech, I feel like throwing up everything in my empty stomach, I hate this feeling. God dammit for letting this shit happen again. I don't need this in my life right now. I CAN get past this, I have done it before. No one to listed at the bathroom door anymore, I am on my own now, so I HAVE to take matters into my own hands. I have to get past it once again, and I cannot allow it to become an issue like it used to be.