Sometimes I really miss home

especially when people post pictures of others that I haven't seen in ages. God I haven't been to O town in forever. Sometimes when I look at pictures, it doesn't even look like home anymore. But I love seeing the pictures of everyone I once knew. Especially the ones of ex-boyfriends, Lol. I saw one of Josh, my God he looks EXACTLY the same. He was with his "wife," God it is weird to say that. She looked pissed, she was hanging onto his arm and I could imagine she was thinking she wanted to leave. Especially since there were girls there that he used to know. I bet she was pissed, hahahahahaha. There are so many people I would love to see again, but know that i never will. It makes me really sad, but I guess that is life. I would like to go back for a visit, but there are quite a few people I would never want to see again also. I can't help but miss that place, it's where I grew up. It's been almost 6 years since I have been home, that is a long ass time. And it is the only place I can really even call home. I can't call PA home, I only lived there for 3 years, even though we had the summer house there forever, we never went there that much. It's funny to think that my parents had two houses at one point, and now finances are so bad, they can't even afford the one they are in. But I can't think about that, it makes me even more depressed. I didn't go to classes today. I lied to everyone and told them I went, but I didn't. I slept. I got up on time, but I was too exhausted to move. I am really sick and tired of not being able to sleep at night. I had to reschedule my endocrinologist appt for tomorrow. I hate missing that appt, but I can't miss my class tomorrow to go. Plus, i was supposed to go for bloodwork these past three months and I haven't gone. So what can he really tell me?
Somedays the depression really gets to me, and other days I don't even know it's there. I wonder why this is. I wonder if it will ever go away. Lucky is snoring at my feet, I love that dog so much. He makes everything in my life ok. too bad he couldn't help me organize the house too. Well I am going to try to find some tylenol pm or other sleeping device, and attempt to lay down for the night. It's 2 am and I will probably get to sleep around 4:30 or so. If I get up at 9, that will give me 4 hours of sleep or so.....